Alisson: 9 What can you say about this fucker? I’m fairly sure he is the best keeper I have seen play for Liverpool. Seriously. Pepe Reina was good and that — first few seasons, till his hands disappeared like a Back To The Future photo — but this fella is...
ARE we still doing this footy watching thing? I mean, seriously? I thought we all decided that it couldn’t get any better than Sunday, for as long as we live, even if we find the pool off Cocoon and double bubble it with the magic mouse off The Green Mile and live...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Honest to god, I’ve never seen anything like it in me life. That might have to do. Everyone gets 10. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. Fucking hell. We should have known. Three little mings dressed a bit like Father Christmas except in...
MY only real gripe with The Reds there is that they are too soft. Marco Verratti, twat of a tackle, wants fucking bladdering and standing over. No one touches him. Neymar, flicking the ball over people’s heads, diving, cheating, moaning and no one lands a...
THEY fucking love getting their hair cut in Watford, you know. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen so many barbers in one gaff in my life. About 10, in a row, all of them chocker. Mad that, isn’t it? Alisson: 7 Tried to pass one to Firmino at centre half first half but fucked...
WHOEVER is responsible for early kick offs needs to understand that they are absolutely shite. Every fucker is scrambling round like the clocks have gone forward three hours, the ground has moved to just outside Birmingham and they haven’t been to bed in a month. The...
WE could have played till the fucking cows — those famous, wondering cows who fucked off years ago and have been having the time of their lives, eating grass and fucking lying down — come home. Sometimes things don’t fall for you, sometimes things don’t go...
Alisson: 7 The save in the first minute is really good, you know. Like, really good. Doesn’t do anything wrong for their goal. Trent: 5 Struggled like fuck. Touch was off, legs were off, head was off. Off. That said, their whole tactical plan first half was to get...
WASN’T the prettiest at times that, was it? Still, there was nothing better than sticking it to Cardiff’s weird support — completely obsessed with libraries, the employment rate in Liverpool and a Steven Gerrard mistake that cost Liverpool the...
YOU want to see our spec there, you know. Gazprom have our season ticket spec in the Kemlyn for a jolly band of Russians, Serbs, wools and fat fellas so we get lashed elsewhere for the Euro games. Tough shit, lads. Thanks for the warm up. Our spec is row nine behind...
