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Liverpool 2 Tottenham Hotspur 1: The Match Ratings

by Ben Johnson | Mar 31, 2019 | app, Featured Writing, Footie, Match Ratings

I MEAN, for the love of everything that is holy, how the frigging hell are we meant to live our normal lives? Work tomorrow, yer? Yer, yer, sound. These civilians, just wandering around living their lovely, ordinary, no peaks no trough lives and The Reds are fucking...
Fulham 1 Liverpool 2: The Match Ratings

Fulham 1 Liverpool 2: The Match Ratings

by Ben Johnson | Mar 17, 2019 | app, Featured Writing, Footie, Match Ratings

REMEMBER that article that these wrote the other week about Hodgson in their match programme? That was weird, wasn’t it? Anyway, I am watching the game at home. It is incompatible with anyone having a nice time. I mean, people are trying to get on with their Sunday...
Bayern Munich 1 Liverpool 3: The Match Ratings

Bayern Munich 1 Liverpool 3: The Match Ratings

by Ben Johnson | Mar 14, 2019 | app, Featured Writing, Footie, Match Ratings

MAD the way they played The Vengaboys when the scored. Mad fuckers. Alisson: 7 Stood up well when they were in at 1-1. Did he have anything to do apart from be the best passer of the ball on the pitch? Trent: 7 They were trying to get after him all first half. They...
Liverpool 4 Burnley 2: The Match Ratings

Liverpool 4 Burnley 2: The Match Ratings

by Ben Johnson | Mar 10, 2019 | app, Featured Writing, Footie, Match Ratings

I’M saying that is The Reds’ best win of the season. It’s not an understatement to say that the weather all but tipped the balance in favour of them. Balls in the air were a coin toss, the wind was howling in some bits of the pitch, but not others. If Burnley...
Everton 0 Liverpool 0: The Match Ratings

Everton 0 Liverpool 0: The Match Ratings

by Ben Johnson | Mar 3, 2019 | app, Featured Writing, Footie, Match Ratings

Alisson: 7 Made a couple of half decent saves. Seen a Blue on the train with a Vanarama coat on before the game. A fucking sponsor on his coat. Fucking tramps. Trent: 7 Seemed keen to beat these Bluenose cunts. Started well, drifted out of it like all The Reds. Joel:...
Liverpool 5 Watford 0: The Match Ratings

Liverpool 5 Watford 0: The Match Ratings

by Ben Johnson | Feb 27, 2019 | app, Featured Writing, Footie, Match Ratings

THAT was fucking sound that, wasn’t it? I don’t care what you say, Big Elton is sound by me, lad. Massive rocket fella. Alisson: 8 Nothing to do apart from looking all sound and that until he has to make a point-blank bad boy. Not being funny but they are almost...
Manchester United 0 Liverpool 0: The Match Ratings

Manchester United 0 Liverpool 0: The Match Ratings

by Ben Johnson | Feb 24, 2019 | app, Featured Writing, Footie, Match Ratings

Alisson: 8 That is some save. I mean, how many times have you seen The Reds do alright at Old Trafford and then some bellend wafts past your ‘keeper and slots? That is a brilliant save. Brilliant. Andy Robbo: 7 I reckon he might be a T100 there, you know. I...
Liverpool 0 Bayern Munich 0: The Match Ratings

Liverpool 0 Bayern Munich 0: The Match Ratings

by Ben Johnson | Feb 19, 2019 | app, Featured Writing, Footie, Match Ratings

Alisson: 7 Saved one in that Big Joel twatted it at his iron chest from a yard and it bounced out rather than in. Done a fair bit of fannying about with it at his feet, but in fairness I’m into that. Trent: 7 Plays these games like he knows The Reds are mustard, and...
Liverpool 3 Bournemouth 0: The Match Ratings

Liverpool 3 Bournemouth 0: The Match Ratings

by Ben Johnson | Feb 9, 2019 | app, Featured Writing, Footie, Match Ratings

GO ‘ed, the boys. That was perfect, that. Alisson: 7 Made saves when he needed to. First minute fella was good. His starting position is perfect, all of the time. Milner: 8 Busy as a pip. They are busy, them little pricks. Did he cross it for the first or have I...
West Ham United 1 Liverpool 1: The Match Ratings

West Ham United 1 Liverpool 1: The Match Ratings

by Ben Johnson | Feb 4, 2019 | app, Featured Writing, Footie, Match Ratings

Alisson: 6 Made a good save first 15 when our midfield was getting legged for a bit. Is he shite for the goal? I think he might be shite for the goal there, which is a shame. Fuck all else to do. Milner: 6 Thought he was pretty shite first half. And didn’t manage much...
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