// THE MATCH RATINGS
Ben Johnson’s alternative approach to post-match Liverpool player ratings…
Liverpool 2 Fulham 0: Match Ratings
WHOEVER is responsible for early kick offs needs to understand that they are absolutely shite. Every fucker is scrambling round like the clocks have gone forward three hours, the ground has moved to just outside Birmingham and they haven’t been to bed in a month. The...
Red Star Belgrade 2 Liverpool 0: Match Ratings
WE could have played till the fucking cows -- those famous, wondering cows who fucked off years ago and have been having the time of their lives, eating grass and fucking lying down -- come home. Sometimes things don’t fall for you, sometimes things don’t go your way,...
Arsenal 1 Liverpool 1: Match Ratings
Alisson: 7 The save in the first minute is really good, you know. Like, really good. Doesn’t do anything wrong for their goal. Trent: 5 Struggled like fuck. Touch was off, legs were off, head was off. Off. That said, their whole tactical plan first half was to get...
Liverpool 4 Cardiff City 1: Match Ratings
WASN'T the prettiest at times that, was it? Still, there was nothing better than sticking it to Cardiff's weird support -- completely obsessed with libraries, the employment rate in Liverpool and a Steven Gerrard mistake that cost Liverpool the Premier League title,...
Liverpool 4 Red Star Belgrade 0: Match Ratings
YOU want to see our spec there, you know. Gazprom have our season ticket spec in the Kemlyn for a jolly band of Russians, Serbs, wools and fat fellas so we get lashed elsewhere for the Euro games. Tough shit, lads. Thanks for the warm up. Our spec is row nine behind...
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// THE MATCH RATINGS
Ben Johnson’s alternative approach to post-match Liverpool player ratings…
Liverpool 2 Fulham 0: Match Ratings
WHOEVER is responsible for early kick offs needs to understand that they are absolutely shite. Every fucker is scrambling round like the clocks have gone forward three hours, the ground has moved to just outside Birmingham and they haven’t been to bed in a month. The...
Red Star Belgrade 2 Liverpool 0: Match Ratings
WE could have played till the fucking cows -- those famous, wondering cows who fucked off years ago and have been having the time of their lives, eating grass and fucking lying down -- come home. Sometimes things don’t fall for you, sometimes things don’t go your way,...
Arsenal 1 Liverpool 1: Match Ratings
Alisson: 7 The save in the first minute is really good, you know. Like, really good. Doesn’t do anything wrong for their goal. Trent: 5 Struggled like fuck. Touch was off, legs were off, head was off. Off. That said, their whole tactical plan first half was to get...
Liverpool 4 Cardiff City 1: Match Ratings
WASN'T the prettiest at times that, was it? Still, there was nothing better than sticking it to Cardiff's weird support -- completely obsessed with libraries, the employment rate in Liverpool and a Steven Gerrard mistake that cost Liverpool the Premier League title,...
Liverpool 4 Red Star Belgrade 0: Match Ratings
YOU want to see our spec there, you know. Gazprom have our season ticket spec in the Kemlyn for a jolly band of Russians, Serbs, wools and fat fellas so we get lashed elsewhere for the Euro games. Tough shit, lads. Thanks for the warm up. Our spec is row nine behind...