// THE MATCH RATINGS
Ben Johnson’s alternative approach to post-match Liverpool player ratings…
Cardiff City 0 Liverpool 2: The Match Ratings
OH. My. God. I mean, you can’t watch that fucking match and not think The Reds are not going to somehow win the league. We are fucking spawny, la. How hasn’t that lad scored? How hasn’t he scored? How hasn’t it at least hit his massive head and gone in instead of it...
FC Porto 1 Liverpool 4: The Match Ratings
WENT to Portugal once. Room had no hot water. Jib it. Alisson: 8 Backs himself, like, doesn’t he? First minute, I’m him getting the ball to feet and I’m fucking head down, blammo, kicking it into the Atlantic. This fella is looking to play at every opportunity. Makes...
Liverpool 2 Chelsea 0: The Match Ratings
I DON'T know about you but I need this fucking season to hurry up and end. I’m like fourth season Bubs at this point. A ghost of a man. Hollowed out. Somehow, this morning I agreed to buy my bird a caravan if The Reds win the league. A fucking caravan. Like a proper...
Liverpool 2 FC Porto 0: The Match Ratings
Alisson: 7 Made two good saves in about a minute and then didn’t have loads to do. I write the same thing every fucking week, don’t I? Arnold: 8 Back up there with his best. Good defensively, good going forward. Great run for the second, great ball. Is right. Virgil:...
Southampton 1 Liverpool 3: The Match Ratings
Southampton Half time. Fuck me with a fucking big shiny shovel. Southampton Full time. Fuck me with a big shiny shovel. Alisson 7/10 Nothing to do first half but open his mouth in disgust at the shit show happening in front of him. Nothing to do second half except...
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// THE MATCH RATINGS
Ben Johnson’s alternative approach to post-match Liverpool player ratings…
Cardiff City 0 Liverpool 2: The Match Ratings
OH. My. God. I mean, you can’t watch that fucking match and not think The Reds are not going to somehow win the league. We are fucking spawny, la. How hasn’t that lad scored? How hasn’t he scored? How hasn’t it at least hit his massive head and gone in instead of it...
FC Porto 1 Liverpool 4: The Match Ratings
WENT to Portugal once. Room had no hot water. Jib it. Alisson: 8 Backs himself, like, doesn’t he? First minute, I’m him getting the ball to feet and I’m fucking head down, blammo, kicking it into the Atlantic. This fella is looking to play at every opportunity. Makes...
Liverpool 2 Chelsea 0: The Match Ratings
I DON'T know about you but I need this fucking season to hurry up and end. I’m like fourth season Bubs at this point. A ghost of a man. Hollowed out. Somehow, this morning I agreed to buy my bird a caravan if The Reds win the league. A fucking caravan. Like a proper...
Liverpool 2 FC Porto 0: The Match Ratings
Alisson: 7 Made two good saves in about a minute and then didn’t have loads to do. I write the same thing every fucking week, don’t I? Arnold: 8 Back up there with his best. Good defensively, good going forward. Great run for the second, great ball. Is right. Virgil:...
Southampton 1 Liverpool 3: The Match Ratings
Southampton Half time. Fuck me with a fucking big shiny shovel. Southampton Full time. Fuck me with a big shiny shovel. Alisson 7/10 Nothing to do first half but open his mouth in disgust at the shit show happening in front of him. Nothing to do second half except...