// THE MATCH RATINGS
Ben Johnson’s alternative approach to post-match Liverpool player ratings…
Liverpool 2 Wolves 0: The Match Ratings
I MEAN, you can all fuck off if you think I’m in any mental state to rate these lads out of 10 after that. Ninety-seven points and haven’t won the league. Fuck me. Brief these because, you know what, I haven’t fucking got it in me. Alisson: 10 Best keeper in the...
Liverpool 4 (4) Barcelona 0 (3): The Match Ratings
I WAS at a low ebb there before kick off. Specifically in ours all day. This shit doesn’t seem fair. I needed something, someone to get me back on track, some kind of affirmation as to why footy is the greatest thing in the world. Met the lads for four pints before...
Newcastle United 2 Liverpool 3: The Match Ratings
BEEN listening to a lot of modern-day hymns today. My mental state in relation to this league title is basically this track by Kevin Morby. Oh my Lord, come carry me home, Oh my Lord, come carry me home, Oh my God, Oh my Lord, Oh my God, Gotten to weak for this heavy...
Barcelona 3 Liverpool 0: The Match Ratings
Alisson: 7 His footwork for the Coutinho shot first half is like Fred Astaire. Couldn’t do a thing about any of their goals which is a shame for all concerned. Maybe he could have lined his wall up a bit better. I don’t know, I’m not a keeper. Joey Gomez: 7 Played...
Liverpool 5 Huddersfield Town 0: The Match Ratings
Alisson: 8 I reckon I’m giving him a couple of points for not sitting down first half. Like, lashing his boots off, spreading a blanket out and maybe eating some cheese and crackers. Made a good save second half which frankly he should have been lying down for,...
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// THE MATCH RATINGS
Ben Johnson’s alternative approach to post-match Liverpool player ratings…
Liverpool 2 Wolves 0: The Match Ratings
I MEAN, you can all fuck off if you think I’m in any mental state to rate these lads out of 10 after that. Ninety-seven points and haven’t won the league. Fuck me. Brief these because, you know what, I haven’t fucking got it in me. Alisson: 10 Best keeper in the...
Liverpool 4 (4) Barcelona 0 (3): The Match Ratings
I WAS at a low ebb there before kick off. Specifically in ours all day. This shit doesn’t seem fair. I needed something, someone to get me back on track, some kind of affirmation as to why footy is the greatest thing in the world. Met the lads for four pints before...
Newcastle United 2 Liverpool 3: The Match Ratings
BEEN listening to a lot of modern-day hymns today. My mental state in relation to this league title is basically this track by Kevin Morby. Oh my Lord, come carry me home, Oh my Lord, come carry me home, Oh my God, Oh my Lord, Oh my God, Gotten to weak for this heavy...
Barcelona 3 Liverpool 0: The Match Ratings
Alisson: 7 His footwork for the Coutinho shot first half is like Fred Astaire. Couldn’t do a thing about any of their goals which is a shame for all concerned. Maybe he could have lined his wall up a bit better. I don’t know, I’m not a keeper. Joey Gomez: 7 Played...
Liverpool 5 Huddersfield Town 0: The Match Ratings
Alisson: 8 I reckon I’m giving him a couple of points for not sitting down first half. Like, lashing his boots off, spreading a blanket out and maybe eating some cheese and crackers. Made a good save second half which frankly he should have been lying down for,...