// THE MATCH RATINGS
Ben Johnson’s alternative approach to post-match Liverpool player ratings…
Liverpool 3 Arsenal 1: The Match Ratings
ARE Everton still top of the league? The Reds are just too good for pretty much every team in the world. Irresistible today. Adrian: 8 Makes a great save one on one... "He’s sound, him". Passes it to their lad with an open goal... "Fuck me, what’s he playing at"....
Southampton 1 Liverpool 2: The Match Ratings
OH, man – that first half! Jesus Christ. Heavy going, that. We were sound and then Milner cut his head and The Reds started acting the goat. Miles in their legs can’t have helped. Big fan of having a nervous last 10 minutes for nothing. Fucking hell... Adrian: 6 A...
Liverpool 2 Chelsea 2 (5-4 Pens): The Match Ratings
IT’S the Super Cup. It’s against Chelsea, who are led by the only man in Great Britain going baldy quicker than Joe Hart. I’m a baldy spotter by trade now. Can see them hairs getting finer from a mile away. Lampard will be lashing sun cream on his scalp before you can...
Liverpool 4 Norwich City 1: The Match Ratings
HERE we are again. The summer was boss, weren’t it? Unbearable bastards everywhere sixing there head off. Spent circa 30 per cent of Glastonbury pretending to lift the European Cup. Flags all over the gaff getting pictures taken, six fingers erected all over the...
Champions Of Europe 2 Tottenham 0: The Match Ratings
MADRID Airport. Sunday, June 2. I mean, I was up at 6.45am, not a mark on me. No hangover, no nothing. Mine was an unusual Champions League final day. Friday night, you see, got a smidgen out of hand. European Cup nerves and that, the ale flew, bevied twice in a day....
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// THE MATCH RATINGS
Ben Johnson’s alternative approach to post-match Liverpool player ratings…
Liverpool 3 Arsenal 1: The Match Ratings
ARE Everton still top of the league? The Reds are just too good for pretty much every team in the world. Irresistible today. Adrian: 8 Makes a great save one on one... "He’s sound, him". Passes it to their lad with an open goal... "Fuck me, what’s he playing at"....
Southampton 1 Liverpool 2: The Match Ratings
OH, man – that first half! Jesus Christ. Heavy going, that. We were sound and then Milner cut his head and The Reds started acting the goat. Miles in their legs can’t have helped. Big fan of having a nervous last 10 minutes for nothing. Fucking hell... Adrian: 6 A...
Liverpool 2 Chelsea 2 (5-4 Pens): The Match Ratings
IT’S the Super Cup. It’s against Chelsea, who are led by the only man in Great Britain going baldy quicker than Joe Hart. I’m a baldy spotter by trade now. Can see them hairs getting finer from a mile away. Lampard will be lashing sun cream on his scalp before you can...
Liverpool 4 Norwich City 1: The Match Ratings
HERE we are again. The summer was boss, weren’t it? Unbearable bastards everywhere sixing there head off. Spent circa 30 per cent of Glastonbury pretending to lift the European Cup. Flags all over the gaff getting pictures taken, six fingers erected all over the...
Champions Of Europe 2 Tottenham 0: The Match Ratings
MADRID Airport. Sunday, June 2. I mean, I was up at 6.45am, not a mark on me. No hangover, no nothing. Mine was an unusual Champions League final day. Friday night, you see, got a smidgen out of hand. European Cup nerves and that, the ale flew, bevied twice in a day....