// THE MATCH RATINGS
Ben Johnson’s alternative approach to post-match Liverpool player ratings…
MK Dons 0 Liverpool 2: The Match Ratings
THIS is what the world looks like when everyone fucking gives up and late stage Capitalism rules supreme. Shite. The Keepeher: 8 Was really good with his feet. Like Michael Flatley. My mate got tickets for him and his wife to see Flatley on the Riverdance Tour....
Chelsea 1 Liverpool 2: The Match Ratings
THEIR manager is a fucking big cobweb head. Adrian: 9 Great save from Abraham. Loved the fella in our end telling him to make himself big and then he did. Extra five points for kneeing their lad. The only time in life you can legit knee someone in the grid....
Napoli 2 Liverpool 0: The Match Ratings
I MEAN, McManaman is a Bluenose, isn’t he? Adrian: 8 Probably should do better with the first save in that he pads it right back to the lad for a second go, but then the second is a cracking save. The save second half is absolutely brilliant. Tremendous. What a fella....
Liverpool 3 Newcastle 1: The Match Ratings
GOODFELLAS helicopter morning, there. Woke up white-wined by the biggest removals van I’ve ever seen that unsurprisingly got stuck in the street. Beeping it’s fucking head off... Got up, went the shop, got back, started chopping stuff to marinate lamb, chopped me...
Burnley 0 Liverpool 3: The Match Ratings
BIG Dychey there before kick off, lads have shots the suns out. Absolute Buckley Hill, him. In fairness to him, they are good at what they do. Absolute shithouses to a man. Screaming for everything, leaving one in every time. Go 'ed lads, give it your best shot. These...
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// THE MATCH RATINGS
Ben Johnson’s alternative approach to post-match Liverpool player ratings…
MK Dons 0 Liverpool 2: The Match Ratings
THIS is what the world looks like when everyone fucking gives up and late stage Capitalism rules supreme. Shite. The Keepeher: 8 Was really good with his feet. Like Michael Flatley. My mate got tickets for him and his wife to see Flatley on the Riverdance Tour....
Chelsea 1 Liverpool 2: The Match Ratings
THEIR manager is a fucking big cobweb head. Adrian: 9 Great save from Abraham. Loved the fella in our end telling him to make himself big and then he did. Extra five points for kneeing their lad. The only time in life you can legit knee someone in the grid....
Napoli 2 Liverpool 0: The Match Ratings
I MEAN, McManaman is a Bluenose, isn’t he? Adrian: 8 Probably should do better with the first save in that he pads it right back to the lad for a second go, but then the second is a cracking save. The save second half is absolutely brilliant. Tremendous. What a fella....
Liverpool 3 Newcastle 1: The Match Ratings
GOODFELLAS helicopter morning, there. Woke up white-wined by the biggest removals van I’ve ever seen that unsurprisingly got stuck in the street. Beeping it’s fucking head off... Got up, went the shop, got back, started chopping stuff to marinate lamb, chopped me...
Burnley 0 Liverpool 3: The Match Ratings
BIG Dychey there before kick off, lads have shots the suns out. Absolute Buckley Hill, him. In fairness to him, they are good at what they do. Absolute shithouses to a man. Screaming for everything, leaving one in every time. Go 'ed lads, give it your best shot. These...