// THE MATCH RATINGS
Ben Johnson’s alternative approach to post-match Liverpool player ratings…
Everton 0 Liverpool 0: The Match Ratings
FUCKING hell. The world has nearly ended, there. Every cunt stayed in their house, heads kettled left right and centre. But every day, the thing that got us through it - the lockdown boredom, the fucking zoom calls, the working from home, the fucking home schooling,...
Liverpool 2 Atletico Madrid 3: The Match Ratings
AND there you have it. A fucking league-stopping pandemic coupled with an Atletico diddle. Lash into the mix that loads of people we know are probably going to die, but even if they don’t we will all be fucking skint and living off fucking grass and whatever we can...
Chelsea 2 Liverpool 0: The Match Ratings
WE could do with a fucking win here, Reds. Fuck's sake. I mean, the only good thing is that Wembley is a shit hole. Goals change games though, and when you are struggling you can’t give the fucking thing away. Adrian: 5 Mad fucker, this fella. Two great saves followed...
Norwich City 0 Liverpool 1: The Match Ratings
THIS team. Playing against a fucking big squad of farmers and Stormy Daniels there and found a way. Not our day, no? Watch this then, you big windy cunt. Five to go or whatever. Wash your hands Reds, and don’t touch your face. Just lashed a bottle of Sol all over me...
Liverpool 1 Shrewsbury Town 0: The Match Ratings
I’LL be honest here, lads. I pretty much presumed that I’d be getting a winter break like the rest of the first teamers. Fucking legs are tired, the mind is definitely fatigued. Nice little couple of weeks off without the distractions of the cup, rest and recuperate,...
// TAW SHOP
// TAW APP
// PARTNERS
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
// THE MATCH RATINGS
Ben Johnson’s alternative approach to post-match Liverpool player ratings…
Everton 0 Liverpool 0: The Match Ratings
FUCKING hell. The world has nearly ended, there. Every cunt stayed in their house, heads kettled left right and centre. But every day, the thing that got us through it - the lockdown boredom, the fucking zoom calls, the working from home, the fucking home schooling,...
Liverpool 2 Atletico Madrid 3: The Match Ratings
AND there you have it. A fucking league-stopping pandemic coupled with an Atletico diddle. Lash into the mix that loads of people we know are probably going to die, but even if they don’t we will all be fucking skint and living off fucking grass and whatever we can...
Chelsea 2 Liverpool 0: The Match Ratings
WE could do with a fucking win here, Reds. Fuck's sake. I mean, the only good thing is that Wembley is a shit hole. Goals change games though, and when you are struggling you can’t give the fucking thing away. Adrian: 5 Mad fucker, this fella. Two great saves followed...
Norwich City 0 Liverpool 1: The Match Ratings
THIS team. Playing against a fucking big squad of farmers and Stormy Daniels there and found a way. Not our day, no? Watch this then, you big windy cunt. Five to go or whatever. Wash your hands Reds, and don’t touch your face. Just lashed a bottle of Sol all over me...
Liverpool 1 Shrewsbury Town 0: The Match Ratings
I’LL be honest here, lads. I pretty much presumed that I’d be getting a winter break like the rest of the first teamers. Fucking legs are tired, the mind is definitely fatigued. Nice little couple of weeks off without the distractions of the cup, rest and recuperate,...