Ben Johnson’s player ratings for The Anfield Wrap after Liverpool 4 Fulham 3 in the Premier League at Anfield…
I MEAN, wow.
Let’s have it straight. Liverpool played well for about 15 minutes in this game. I nearly burst a blood vessel in my head when their second went in. Too relaxed, too fucking arrogant, too this too fucking that, honestly lads you can tackle people you know?
But then, I mean, Christ. That’s why you go the game, isn’t it? That’s why you go the fucking game. The best. There is. That let off for the winner. Honest to god, it’s a good job I went home straight after it or I might never have got here again.
Kelleher: 5
I mean it’s obviously not fair to compare him to the greatest goalkeeper to ever play the game, but frankly it would be a good idea if we stopped teams shooting until Ali is back.
Looked like his head was fried a bit at the end of the first half. Felt for him. Would like him to maybe be injected with some testosterone pre game, like a prize bull to get a bit of agro in him.
Looks like he is bonged out of his skull. Just ate fifteen packs of Space Raiders and was watching Starship Troopers instead of warming up for the match.
Trent: 9
Ha ha ha. Honest to god. Adidas with them Preds. I might get a pair, keep them in the box and wear them to my lad’s wedding. Three piece suit, top hat, fucking pocket watch and the 30-year preds.
What a couple of goals. The winner, oh wow, what a let off. What a lovely way to spend the afternoon! Fantastic.
Needs a better song, I think we can all agree on that.
Joel: 6
Shite for their first (goal, everyone out of shape, terrible pass). Might have snapped his banjo there and we might never see him again which is a huge shame.
Virgil: 7
Thought he struggled at times first half against your man with the headband who is unreal in the air. Then second half, he seemed to just impose himself, not having this shite, let’s win our battles. Great again.
Tsimikas: 8
Thought he was one of The Reds’ better players throughout but simultaneously, we didn’t half miss Robbo tonight which is mad. One of the only ones to win his battles all night.
Mac Allister: 8
Honestly, couldn’t believe my fucking eyes when they took him off. The midfield first half consisted of him and Trent now and again with every other cunt wandering around not tackling any fucker. Then we decided to go two in midfield and went with the lad who was fucking knackered like a horse after the National instead of the kid who was the only one on the pitch tacking any cunt. Mad.
What a goal by the way, I told him not to shoot about four times and kept saying no as the ball hit the top bin. Bellend.
Gravenberch: 7
Was good at times, but that midfield got outbattled and he was a massive part of that. Couldn’t believe he got asked to be one of two mids when he was practically tapping out. Someone on the sideline throwing buckets of cold water over him.
Szoboszlai: 6
Didn’t think he was very good. In fact, I thought he was a bit shit, which is a shame. Didn’t use the ball well, didn’t win it back at all.
Salah: 7
Not at his best Mo, and The Reds had some really good opportunities that we just made the wrong decision etc, but kept working and showed how much he wants to fucking win. Should have scored that one late on before the comeback.
Nunez: 6
Worst game in a while, particularly first half. Couldn’t trap a bag of cement, kept trying to switch the play and giving it right to them. Better second half, workrate impressive, unlucky with the one against the bar, shite for the middle left-foot nonsense.
Diaz: 5
An off-game. Just a bit nothing which you have now and again.
SUBS
Gomez: 6
Come on right back and started inverting into centre mid and it made no fucking sense that you would try to get the fella the other side are happy to be on the ball, on the fucking ball. Looked like he’d had a roast dinner just before kick off.
Gakpo: 8
Was tremendous when he came on. Loads of bite loads of energy.
Endo: 8
What a goal, what a performance. Rectified maybe one of the worst tactical substitutions I’ve ever seen and got The Reds playing.
Konate: 7
Looked alright. Is going to need to be sound as Matip might never be seen again.
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Don’t half enjoy your ratings Ben. Could do with them every week
Yeah, Klopp’s subbing once again poor. We seem to go through periods where we either feel it’s beneath us to tackle somebody or we don’t want to get fucking dirty or something.
Best part of TAW. There’s much to be admired but this is the best part. Here’s hoping Ben starts doing these again after every game.