Ben Johnson’s player ratings for The Anfield Wrap after Leicester City 0 Liverpool 3 in the Premier League at the King Power Stadium…


I’M away with work.

Watching it in a dive of a boozer and there is a Bluenose in here who I think has been on the ale since the dogs of war were knocking about singing that they are the greatest team the world has ever seen. The game hasn’t kicked off at this point.

Anyway, five minutes gone and it’s easy to forget how fucking horrible these are. I would like them to go down, and keep going, in fairness. On the front of their ship, taped to the fucking stern or the bow or whatever the fuck it is called, would be that little Beckham Ming’s head. Like on Jason and the Argonauts, fucking Helen of Troy, spluttering for air as they plunge the depths of the fucking Conference, the fucking scruff. Horrible smug face.

Him and fucking Boris Johnson’s big soft head and a squad of Royals. Laters.

Alisson: 8

Great save first five when Trent gave it away and then stepped out. He is so fast across the ground. Like an armoured bear. Lovely save from Barnes start of second half. So good on the sweep up.

Trent: 8

Crap for the Vardy chance first five. Header wasn’t on at any point and then stepped out. Started slowly today, but grew into the game again.

The through ball for Gakpo start of the second half was. Delightful. Deserved better as he knew exactly what he was doing. Bossed the game and then just slotted one top bin.

What a fucking footballer.

Virgil: 7

Bit slow in the cross over for the early Vardy chance. That aside, imposing and calm. Nice.

Konate: 7

Brilliant on the one on one with Vardy when he found himself wrong side. So good defensively. Fuming with himself when he wasn’t winning tackles in the touchline that didn’t end up as goalkicks. Not a bad thing to fume about, all told.

Robbo: 7

Quietly sound in that new spec really. Doesn’t put a foot wrong but just makes it look so natural.

Fabinho: 8

Really good, Fab. Much less ground to cover, really good as a consequence. Clever new shape, really. Balance. He’s a player that thrives with balance. Like a bellwether.

If he is playing well The Reds have a balance throughout their side, the gaps between players, defence midfield and attack is right. If he is shite, then you are a fat mess.

Jones: 9

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Always the victim, you Scouse bastards, sign on. Cop for that little cock in the eye. The Scousest fella on the planet just rubbed his bottom on your king loving noses. Get fucking down.

First goal is unreal movement and a lovely little finish. The second? Wow. What a touch, what a turn, what a finish, what a go and fuck yourselves, lads. Maybe by printing them poverty glorifying song sheets off, forming them into a huge big traffic cone type shape and popping them right up your bum.

Hendo: 8

Plays well, Jordan. Best performance in the new shape by my calculations. Kept the ball really well. Picked up spaces in that right channel really well.

Diaz: 5

First 10 minutes he was shite. Gave it away every time he got it and then was volleying every cunt to try and win it back. Got a bit better but not at his best.

Gakpo: 7

Funny that foul on him first 10 and the ref was like “nah, that’s sound, you know. Yer you have still got both your legs, haven’t you? Shut the fuck up then, you crying twat.”

Should score when one on one. Love him. So good on the turn and with his back to goal.

Salah: 8

What a ball for the goal. On a plate. Second pass as equally fantastic in that the timing of it kills them dead. Perfect.

Hat trick of assists. I mean, the last one seems like something I could do but, you know, let’s give it him. Sitter for the one on one. Not like him.

We will fucking miss him when he is gone.



Ran round for a bit.


See above with added nous.


See above with less nous.


See above.

Why did they bring a regen posh Harry Maguire on? Fucking Harold head.

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