Ben Johnson’s player ratings after Arsenal 0 Liverpool 2 in the League Cup semi final second leg at the Emirates Stadium…


Kelleher: 7

Great save first half which was the only thing he had to do, really. Was a little unorthodox in that he didn’t bother diving, but great save nonetheless. Great ball in second half in the corridor of uncertainty where we should have done better. Was excellent all night.

Trent: 9

Wild for the first goal, what he does. I mean we have the ball at centre half and he is upfront lurking like fucking Dalglish. I don’t even know how that’s possible. Great ball out to Diogo Jota and he does the rest. Hang on, let’s say that again. Great ball out to Jota and he does the rest again. Except the ball out for the second wasn’t great, it was fucking incredible. Absolutely incredible.

Virgil: 7

Was excellent again. Snaffled everything.

Big Joel: 6

Remember that time last season when he slipped six discs in his back or whatever? Played on until half time and looked like he had a taser strapped to his back that was zapping him every time he moved his legs, so he couldn’t a) run and b) kick it. Was a bit like that today. Absolute taser back.

Robbo: 7

Was great second half. Such a threat down the left. Great energy. I don’t know, I might get the lads to invest in an algorithm. Read all my ratings for the last two years and get them to rehash them, because I’m sure I’ve wrote all that before.

Fabinho: 9

What a tackle first half when Martinelli sends Virgil for the Echo. About to slot, soz lad, giz that, is right. So available for the ball. Gave it away a few times second half in quick succession but then rattled them back to win it. Second half was unbelievable. Everywhere.

Curtis: 8

I thought he was excellent again first half. So good at receiving the ball deep, inviting the pressure and breaking the lines. Something very Gini about that side of him when deep. That said, he is so good on the ball higher up the pitch as well. Boss second half. Funny when Partey got sent off. “Go ed, yer fucking prick”. Hahaha. Is right, Curt.

Henderson: 7

Some work rate from Hendo pressing their back four and keeper. Was like he was on fucking SAS: Who Dares Wins with fucking Ant Middleton screaming at him telling him he will get slotted if he doesn’t keep marching.

Jota: 10

Unreal for the first. The way he runs with the ball is so mad, as defenders gave no clue what he is going to do. No tells at all. His balance is unreal. Love how scruffy some of his goals are. He wrong foots people for a laugh. Was so dangerous on the ball all night. Brilliant run for the Gordon chance. Hahaha what a touch and finish and what a run to hold his shape to be on side. Love how they celebrated the VAR goal at our end. HAHAHAHA. Suck it up.

Bobby: 8

See Henderson above. Struggled at first but outlasted every cunt and got stronger and stronger. Was so good at armying that we sent him home early for a scran and a shower with a pat on the back.

Gordon: 7

So unlucky for the chance as his movement is brilliant. He’s good, you know.


Konate: 7

Was great when he came on. They were gutted he didn’t have a taser strapped to his arse.

Milner: 6

Legged it.

Taki: 7

Looks so sharp at the minute.

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