Martin Fitzgerald offers up his player ratings after Liverpool’s 4-1 loss to Manchester City in the Premier League…
COMING to Netflix soon…
“Pretend it’s Man City whereupon the Liverpool keeper endlessly fucks about in his own box as if he isn’t playing against Man City in a must-win game.”
Un-fucking-believable.
Here’s your ratings…
Alisson: 1
Absolute disaster of a performance – creates two and lets one goes through his hands.
He’s not great for the first either but, compared to the rest of it, that was like Banks versus Pele.
Trent: 4
Let Sterling go past him far too easily for the opener but was generally OK until he realised the keeper had the yips.
Fabs: 3
Really struggled on his first game back.
Just put him, and me, out of our misery and lash him back in midfield.
Henderson: 6
Didn’t do a lot wrong and, like Fabs, just play him in midfield for the rest of the season.
Andy Robertson: 4
Defended well on occasion but is still a little blunt going forward at the moment.
Like the rest of them, looks like he’s not enjoying it.
“Life at this age is rubbish with no centre backs #NoCentreBack”
Is right, Robbo.
Gini: 3
Neither here nor there and possibly the worst of our midfield three.
We all know what he’s capable of but he needs the component parts around him and, today, they very much weren’t.
Jones: 5
Covered in defence well, particularly first half, and look bright at the start of the second.
Needs to be braver, though. Lots of standing on the ball and looking around.
Thiago: 3
I’d have lashed that daft cunt off after his yellow.
The midfield today was light enough without him launching himself through the back of someone straight away and having to play the rest of the game on a yellow.
You’d expect that from a kid, or Jimmy Bullard, but not from someone of his experience.
Mane: 6
Bright in patches but the header in the first half felt like a big miss at the time and even bigger now.
Bobby: 5
Digs one out in the first half which needed saving by Alien Ant Farm. Other than that he drifted in and out of the game.
Felt like our best moments were when he was playing well, though.
Mo: 4
I haven’t seen someone turn into that much traffic since I was playing Crazy Taxi in the 90s after a night on the biftas.
SUBS
Milner: 4
Came on to improve the midfield when going in goal might have been a better shout.
Shaq: 4
Never a good sign when he’s not the weirdest thing on the pitch.
Tsimikas: 3
All I can remember is someone passed to him and it went for a throw in.
Davies and Kabak: 10
No idea what they’re like at centre back but, Jesus, they’d do our midfield the world of fucking good.
Guardiola: 10
How many scarves did that cunt have on? Fair play to him.
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I saw over on one of the MBM’s that the writer likened Thiago to veron at united. I really hope he’s wrong, as Thiago *should* be ace and I’m expecting a jumper with his name on it in the post any day now. But you do worry. Lots of link-up-passing where it looks like his positioning and pass is completely superfluous, like the whole passage of play could have taken place without him being there and probably much quicker. We also need more from the bench. Look at all those goals against city packages in advance of the match, Ox seems to have scored half of them. He needs to get back on the boil. We’re crying out for options in this poxy shitfest of a season.
Injury prone Ox, Matip, Naby need to be sold on June 1. Shaq, Origi, as well.
Cbs should of been bought on Jan 1. Pathetic title defence.
I can’t watch Gini pass it backwards and sideways any longer. It is depressing.
Now we have a week to train, Davies, Kabak and Nat can get used to each-other…….no more midfielders at CB which is killing us!.
I realise that ratings are very much subjective but can’t agree with you on Gini being the worst of the mf 3 , that award undoubtably goes to Thiago and how did Bobby rate a 5 he was completely anonymous for most of the game?
This team looks physically drained, we need to get CB’s in and MF’s moved out of defence, title has gone and top 4 will be a hard slog
When will this get sorted? I can’t cope