Ben Johnson highlights five things we learned from Liverpool’s 4-1 loss to Manchester City in the Premier League…


CHRIST, that was tough to watch, wasn’t it?

1. Legs in midfield…

The impact of the injuries is starting to show all over the pitch. Too many minutes in too few legs. Gini looks goosed, Thiago looks goosed, Robbo looks goosed and our two best pressing midfielders are holding their cocks stood at centre half watching the rest of the side fall apart.

Think of that Liverpool side of the last two years. What did the midfield offer? A fuck off big engine and not a lot more. Why? Because they made the whole team work. The literal engine. It says something when your first change in centre midfield, when your midfield is really fucking knackered, is Shaqiri. Imagine that happening at any point in the last two years.

What’s that? You can’t?

That’s because it’s fucking berserk. Play the centre halves and get the engine back fucking working.

2. Alisson…

I mean who even gets sick these days and it isn’t fucking Covid? No one. Fucking no one. What’s he been doing there? Food poisoning? Fucking flu rate is down 95 per cent. Why? Cause every cunt is washing their hands and not fucking going out.

Looked like he had had a bong at half time. Off his absolute barnet. My legs have worked better at 4.30am in the Shangri La in a fucking muddy year. Shocker.

Liverpool's goalkeeper Alisson Becker looks dejected as Manchester City score the second goal during the FA Premier League match between Liverpool FC and Manchester City FC at Anfield

3. Was a huge fan of their centre half moving the fella lying down behind the wall over a big by dragging his neck…

Highlight of the game.

4. How the fuck do we get out of this?

Play them fucking centre halves. I don’t care if they are dogshite. Play them and play the two best defensive midfielder in the middle of the pitch because this team does not function at all without absolute legs 11 in the middle.

5. Anyway, I mean, any hobbies going there?

Anyone? What’s knitting like?

This watching the match in the house is fucking shite. The stress it induces. You know stress-inducing moments in your life, there is a flight or flight thing, isn’t there? Stems from us being animals and getting jumped by wolves and that. A wolf jumps you and you either knock the hairy fucker out or absolutely leg it.

Being in the ground, with these stress-inducing moments you get to scream at the referee, cheer your players on, feel like you are impacting the process even just a little bit.

This version is like getting jumped by wolves all day and just having to sit there and suck it up as they close in on you and eventually eat your fucking head off.


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