Pre Match
WHAT’S your favourite Davie Moyes moment?
There’s plenty to choose from in fairness. I was a big fan of his half-time team talk in the FA Cup semi when he swallowed his undies and Big Andy Carroll lolloped that header rar in. Or his leaving doo from the Blueshite when they brought out all them old favourites who had played for him and never beaten them Kopite gobshites.
But I think my favourite was the Luis Suarez dive celebration at his feet when he jumped off the bench to have a lovely stand and watch with his hand in his pockets before sitting down again. You don’t have to win things to be a winner, but he is a winner alright. We will batter these tramps here today.
Full Time
Ha ha ha, told you. I tell you what is mad. How the friggin hell did Patrice Evra manage to convince them to pay him money to stand still? It was like walking footy mate, he’ll be playing with Bobby Robson next week, him.
The Reds are boss, another team dispatched with a minimum of fuss. Its got the making of something this side, this season, next season and beyond. There is something in the air, I am telling yer. Go ‘ed, the boys.
Just by way of a proviso on these scores by the way, I took my lad the game today, so I was a bit distracted; what with him making me play a three-hour game of observational mastermind. My head was kettled after 15 minutes of the first half after answering 170 questions since kick off on the ins and outs of everything from why is there a bag on the pitch, to why didn’t Sadio Mane just pass it, to can I have my drink, to can I have my drink, to can I have my drink, to me fiddling about with an apple juice carton and a fucker of a little straw until I looked up and everyone was going off there pan, including my lad, ’cause Emre Can had scored. He also asked just after the goal: “Why did God invent footy?”
I looked at him and rather than delve into the wider theological theories about God, and Jesus and that, I replied: “Because he is sound yer know”.
Loris Karius: 7
Made a couple of good saves and played footy really well, including playing his part in the buildup to the Mane goal when the whole world, including God and his lad were screaming at him to twat it. Looked like he went down in bits for their goal from where I was but that might be harsh.
Trent Alexander-Arnold: 8
Tried to wallop Evra a few times but was put off by him literally standing still for 90 minutes. Boss though, was everywhere down the right, strong in the tackle, attacked really well and spent ages after we scored the second telling everyone to switch on. Future captain him, mate.
Joel Matip: 7
Had a mad first half where he got rolled by Marko Arnautovic about 10 times in three minutes and then started just tackling him instead, including a few where he ran on his knees for a bit. A funny one him.
Big Virg van Dijk: 9
Might turn out to be one of our most important signings in a long time. He’s our best centre half in 10 years but also might be one of our best playmakers since your man Xabi Alonso was smoozing about looking all cool and that. Won every header, played every pass.
Andy Robbo: 8
Thought he was great again, there. Left a big hole for there goal, but in fairness he probably thinks he is going to get played in instead of Emre losing it. (Did that happen? I was tying a scarf and picking up a glove for most of the second half.)
Emre Can: 8
Scored apparently. A header or something. Well in. Bossed the midfield, had a few of his usual mind wanderings where he is thinking about getting a bath or Vidal Sassooning his hair and that.
James Milner: 8
Thought he did all the stuff that needed doing like tracking men, booting people, winning tackles in dangerous positions. Had a bit of a resurgence of late.
Alex Oxo-Chambo: 9
Did really well for the Roberto Firmino goal or maybe the Mo Salah one? Who even knows anymore. Took up boss positions by going and marking their centre halves and then just drifting into that horrible little gap between the defence and midfield. Pretty important in getting the other three going really. Like a key in their ignition, hot and fresh right out the kitchen, lad.
Mo Salah: 9
It’s his balance. Or is it his strength? Or maybe, it’s just the way he kicks the ball, but he is pretty much untouchable. I want him to stay till he is slower than Evra.
Sadio Mane: 9
His movement was great all day, was unlucky for the one he didn’t score and boss for the one he did. His scissor kick thing with Firmino is better than anything Jesus ever did.
Roberto Firmino: 9
I’m not sure I have ever seen a centre forward play as a defensive midfielder at the same time, in front of the midfield. The amount of times he starts attacks is ridiculous. His movement for his goal was great la, he scores it because he is switched on enough to drop in for Mane who was out of a position. We win the ball back he makes his run and then basically doesn’t look at the ball until it’s in the back of the net. Marvellous.
SUBS
All of them were sound.
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Nothing at all for Bobby? Harsh…
Can is at the exact midway point on the locus between Pele and Carlton Palmer.
Felt sorry for Karius having “little arms” ((c) Andy Heaton) when their goal rolled by.
As I was only watching on the telly, could anyone who was there tell me if Sadio had a song sung for him? I think he needs and deserves more vocal support…
Yeah we sang his song a few times, particularly after he hit the post – there was definitely support for him from the stands to try and get his confidence up.
Karius was worth an 8. The save from Arnautovic was superb and his throw out while lying down shows the lad has confidence. The defence trusts the guy which is great to see at last. Give the scorer credit, he placed it perfectly.
Indeed. Karius was great again.
Feel like many supporters are just waiting for him to make a blunder to put the knife in again.
A bit sad that.
Milner was exceptional! Really happy with his recent form.
Surprised to see Ox get so much love from the fans.
I thought he was mediocre at best in the first half, a bit better in the 2nd half and that pass to Salah was luck in the end rather than brains.
Ox was winning tackles, had the wonderful falling-down assist to Mo, generally impressed me all game.
Karius gets 4364 for me. That’s an unbelievable save at 0-0. Easy to say it was an easy win but we were dreadful for the 5 min after they did score and that was at 3-1.
5 hours later and still hangin for the pink. Come on lads, we know you can do it.
Best part of the game for me was when it went 3-1 and we had a big passage of play in which we just keep passing it around for passings sake. For ages we’ve moaned about our in game management when we are leading today we did but it didn’t stop people whinging about it on the Kop
100% agree mate.
It’s our game management when we can’t dominate the ball that is the issue.
Big shout not to play Hendo I thought. Was just saying that Can was having one of those can’t be arsed days when he pops up at the far stick and then almost curls one in from 30.
Fav wee Davey moment was the day he got the manc job. He was out with his missus when Fergy rang and asked if he could come and see him. Wee Davey said he thought he’d probably be trying to loan him one of his young players. So the soft twat ran home, put a suit on and dashed off ready to perform fellatio on the great one. Thankfully he got the job.
I’d like to give a shout out to the ref as well. Never seen him before, but thought he was alright. Kept the game flowing, didn’t give soft free kicks away, and was consistent. Best I’ve seen in England all year.
Agree. That’s an 8 for him. Primarily for being better than Fat Moss
Robertson motm for me
Regardless of anything else, I think we can all agree that Ben Johnson is an absolute bellend.
Absolutely boss ratings. Pissed myself at several points.
Nice one.
Andy Robbo should just get on the deed poll and change his name to Andy Maradona. Loved that charge through 5he midfield where he just swerved half of East London. Was a fantastic outball all game and is probably the hardest working player ever. A bit like Kuyt but boss.
Karius was good again, gives us an extra dimension with his quick distribution. Have to say, and maybe I’m being too harsh but, the difference between a good , developing keeper, and a truly exceptional one is the goal. I think a great keeper saves that. I thought he showed Antonio too much to the right (his own left) and gave him a lot of the goal to aim at. Very nit picky I s’pose but just think his positioning isn’t central enough because the finish looked quite telegraphed.