BOURNEMOUTH, ENGLAND - Sunday, December 4, 2016: Liverpool's manager Jürgen Klopp reacts during the FA Premier League match against AFC Bournemouth at Dean Court. (Pic by David Rawcliffe/Propaganda)

IF I live to be 95 years old (gotta have ambition) then I’ve got about 2,300 weeks left.

Never thought I’d hear myself say this but, I hope none of them are as long as this past one has been.

A week ago The Reds were the six wins in eight games Reds. We were the ascendant Reds. Gathering victories and points. Pulling our rivals back into view. Scoring goals in record-breaking hauls. The prospect of two homes against bottom third of the table teams was only to be relished. Up until the 75th minute at Anfield last Sunday it was all still peachy. We were whistling our way to a very routine victory over Everton when an idiot referee decided he was the one who most deserved to be entered into derby folklore.

And so three easy points became one, and heads were being scratched. They’re still being itched and our brows are now firmly furrowed in the wake of further underwhelment, a consequence of Wednesday night’s tame draw with shitty arl West Brom.

In the scheme of things, these draws needn’t be the mini disasters that they have felt like in the moment. Chelsea lost at crappy arl West Ham a week ago. Spurs were four points behind us. A week ago. Both of these rivals are now as good again as their latest results. Both midweek winners, they no longer have a care in the world.

The rusty arl Reds though. No one could lay a glove on us. A week ago. Easy fix then. Start again, Liverpool. Reboot us Jürgen, as you are broadly so apt at doing.

The boom-bust cycle is part of football life. The key is simply to have better booms than busts. The Christmas period offers rich pickings for hungry festive Reds. There’s Bournemouth up next. They’re ok, but eminently beatable.

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Then there’s the toughest one — at Arsenal. It’s fine though, because we get Arsenal. I mean really get them. They will be quaking.

After London, back home we’ve got the Anfield holiday double header against Swansea then Leicester. Chances to right wrongs abound, before we cap the Christmas season off with a trip to plucky Burnley. We’ll pluck those turkeys too, mark my words.

Rotation is back in fashion. It’s like we’re back in the year 2000 and marvelling and vexing at this new phenomenon. Resting footballers in congested fixture programmes?! Whatever will they think of next? Leave a good player out of a derby?! In my day they’d play four derbies in a week and do 20-pint pub crawls between each game.

Fuck’s sake.

I can’t live through this all again. OK it was a shock to old timers when Gerard Houllier alternated between Robbie Fowler and Michael Owen, and sure, Rafa Benitez did rewrite the rotation rule book at times, but it’s 2017 now, kids. Surely. Surely we’re not still not getting rotation.

And you can’t enjoy five and seven-goal romps, the product of the power of refreshed players, one week, and then demand that the protection schedule be axed the next, because you’re getting a bit anxious that crappy arl Everton may actually win a derby.

I’m going with the flow. You can too if you like. I’m still of the mind to go with Jürgen’s maxim that it all works so much better if we all pull in the right direction. Here’s to happy holidays.

Predicted 11: Mignolet; Alexander-Arnold, Klavan, Lovren, Milner; Henderson, Can; Oxlade-Chamberlain, Coutinho, Mane; Firmino.

Kick off: Sunday 4.30pm

Referee: Andre Marriner

Odds: Bournemouth 11-2, Draw 39-10, Liverpool 8-15

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Pics: David Rawcliffe-Propaganda Photo

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