THESE took four points off us last year. You know what grates the most? Their manager’s trackie bottoms. Quite clingy, weren’t they? Remember being fuming about them. Anyway.
Simon Mignolet: 7
Did well to stop a corner at the start of the second half. That was about it, wasn’t it? Aside from a couple of warm-up saves. Looks good when he has got nothing to do.
Joe Gomez: 8
He’s always boss, isn’t he? He was boss here any road. Boss.
Degsy Lovren: 8
Did one of Albie’s patented back-heel tackles first half, but won the ball well as opposed to kicking their fella and simultaneously proved that the liner, like all liners, is a bellend. Showed bravery beyond that of the lion out The Wizard Of Oz for the goal, which frankly, was a bit of a surprise.
Ragnar Klavan: 7
Started well, then got sucked into the middle of the pitch, gave the ball away and fell over trying to win it back. Started a passage of play that ended with Jermain Defoe hitting the post and The Reds doing a decent impression of last year for a bit. Looks like a fella who is the best person at footie in a dead little jarg country where everyone else plays skiing. That said, he played well second half.
Andy Robertson: 8
Played really well. Great run for Coutinho’s goal, neat and tidy and on the front foot all the while. Loves to leg it, doesn’t he?
Gini Wijnaldum: 8
Pressed well first half, sat well second. Probably our best centre-midfield partnership.
Jordan Henderson: 8
Broke a couple up well in the first 10. Part of a much-improved midfield two that set the tone for The Reds. At his best first half, on the front foot, first to everything. No surprise that he found it easier with a partner sat in with him.
Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain: 8
Boss mixture of a centre mid and a winger all at the same time. Did really well when he hit the post and generally impressed. Got man of the match off Alan Smith who must have a no Coutinho, Salah or Firmino rule.
Phil Coutinho: 9
Had hard lines with that free kick there, didn’t he? I’m not sure that the physics stack up as to why that didn’t go in the net really. Might get on the blower to professor Bri Cox, tell him space has fucked up a bit, possibly a wormhole. While he’s looking into that, he can have a look at Coutinho’s balance for the first. Looked like a bit of gravity-based cheating in fairness. He’s absolutely boss.
Mo Salah: 9
Such a threat cutting in. Had a couple of sighters first half and looked like a man who wasn’t that arsed that he missed as he was safe in the knowledge that he is the best person at football out of 1.2 billion people in Africa. If I was better than 1.2 billion people at something I’d be walking round bollocko lad, just a set of sunglasses and a pair of Adilettes on. Why are you bollocko? Better than every other fucker at roast potatoes, aren’t I? Showed how good he is by ragging their lad down the outside when it was nailed on to go inside, then went inside anyway and slotted it. Unplayable.
Roberto Firmino: 9
He works so hard but even if he didn’t he would be boss. Scores goals, creates goals, grafts like he doesn’t do either. Extra point for the flat top. Pure Kid N’ Play.
Finding his feet/tidy enough.
Shoulder shrug/needs a goal.
Should have scored/terrible tattoos.
"He seems to have found what he knows he can be good at with the lads around him. I think that's crucial and it means that Liverpool have got a very good footballer."
— The Anfield Wrap (@TheAnfieldWrap) 17 December 2017