ALL right, everyone.
Here are five thoughts on (spoiler alert) Liverpool beating Bournemouth by 2 goals to 1.
1) Email Address
On the coach down I overheard some fella having a conversation on the phone.
I’m not really sure what it’s about, something about a tree, I think, but it involves the fella giving his email address to the person on the other end.
Before he spells it out, he says: “Right, all in lower case.”
Then, after he gives it out, he confirms again: “That’s all in lower case.”
Obviously I made a note of his email address and will now send him a message every day from: [email protected]
2) Local hero
I arrive at the ground and it’s one of those quaint places that has its heroes of yesteryear displayed on the stadium walls — a reminder to everyone of all the great men that have graced the field for AFC Bournemouth.
Like this fella, the second most confused man I’ve ever seen.
3) This fella
Once inside, I’m minding my own business trying to work out what my favourite coat is when this fella, an excitable sort, approaches me.
“Are you Martin Fitzgerald from The Anfield Wrap?”
“Yes”, I said, wishing my face didn’t look like the photograph of my face that’s on this page.
“I thought so. I recognise you from that ‘Five from Fitzgerald’ thing you do.”
I smiled, probably awkwardly.
“Can I be one of your five thoughts?”he asked
He repeated his request.
“Can I be one of your five thoughts? Y’know in that thing that you do?”
“But you’re not a ‘thought’,” I said. “You’re a fella at the match.”
“No I know that, but can I be IN one of your five thoughts?”
“Well, I dunno. I’m not really sure if I take requests to be honest.”
“I dunno. All sorts of fellas will be coming up to me asking if they can be in my “thoughts”. It’s not really why I come to the match to be honest.”
He shrugged his shoulders and went back to talk to his mate who, even though he was a fella, looked a bit like Sharon Stone.
Unbelievably, people are still persisting with that Klopp song to the tune of Live is Life by Opus.
Look I get it, it’s an attempt make Klopp feel at home (if you ignore the fact that Opus are actually from Austria). But has it occurred to anyone that he might not want to reminded of these songs from his homeland?
Maybe he was looking forward to a change when he came to England? Maybe he was looking forward to some indie pop rather than some Bavarian reggae?
As I said, I understand the sentiment. But it’s a bit like someone has finally been released from Guantanamo Bay only to arrive home to find their whole family wearing orange jump suits.
We won the football game, I saw some mates, and had three bottles of Fosters without buying a round.
But, best of all, I managed to keep that fella from point three out of my “thoughts”.
“Hang on, before you go, if that Bournemouth fella is the second most confused man you’ve ever seen then who’s the MOST confused?”
“Gerrard that time Roy Hodgson tried to explain football to him.”