TODAY I’ve come over all Walter Smith (please don’t transpose any of the words in that sentence).
The great Everton manager apparently had a Damascene moment after a few too many goes on Championship Manager, deciding the legendary Ibrahima Bakayoko (AM/FC) was the man to bring back the Goodison glory days.
Similarly, I am convinced Burak Yilmaz is the future of Liverpool’s strike force and the man to deliver the extra 20 goals Brendan Rodgers is after.
Like the imaginary Walter in my head (please don’t connect this with your earlier misreading), I’m a fan of the management sim, now known as Football Manager. And for me, at Galatasaray, Burak is great.
He runs dead fast, takes chances with lethal efficiency and can play on the right and in the centre. He’s a big character in the dressing room and, as the game reminds me every time he scores, loves to power them in.
In reality I’ve never seen him play, but that’s a hugely overrrated advantage anyway. I’d rather not see most players play.
So hearing links swirling around about Burak coming to us has got me excited. Never mind that the story has all the classic elements of paper talk, and never mind that Chelsea will probably get him if they want him, Burak is definitely the Turkish Ian Rush.
Here he is doing things in real life, in a YouTube video produced by a man who’s put in his own opening titles as if he’s the Coen Brothers or something because he’s chopped a few clips together.
Back in semi-reality, Liverpool are preparing for a friendly at Preston tomorrow. Apparently it’s on the telly. Am I that desperate? I might be that desperate.
One man who won’t be featuring in that, or any other, LFC match for a while is Suso. We all know he’s good, but none of us are really sure how good. Maybe a loan spell at Almeria will provide some answers. Almeria looks lovely anyway. It’s got a Moorish castle and ancient walls and it’s probably sunny most of the time.
LUIS GARCIA WATCH: Luis is delighted at being ranked 34th in the 100 players who shook the Kop. He tweeted it’s a “big, big honour”. According to the official picture of this, that apparently calls for a Carlsberg. I’d like to think he’ll have more refined tastes, but I guess finishing 34th in something isn’t necessarily cause to bring out the good stuff.
FAB AURELIO WATCH: Biding his time
WEIRDO WATCH: Imagine the thought processes behind creating this type of thing: