THE last week or so has been fucking crap, hasn’t it?
The Reds don’t half make you feel like shit sometimes — the bad tits.
It’s mad how much those infuriatingly, inconsistently magnificent nobheads somehow manage to permeate every facet of your life.
The first thought and last thought of everyday, “fucking hell, oh for fuck’s sake, that fucking shower of twats”.
In context, it’s all a bit pathetic really, but when has context ever mattered when it comes to the football?
Someone said to me earlier in the week, “Well yeah, but imagine supporting Everton”, which frankly is a load of shite, they’re used to being shite, like us under Roy Hodgson. The defeats just wash off, you become conditioned to it just as you become conditioned to still be pulling at the bed of your fingernails and a nervous wreck when The Reds are three up with only 15 minutes to go.
Some grock you’ve never heard of comes on for Huddersfield and you convince yourself he’s Didier Drogba reincarnated, a titan with strength and touch of immeasurable scale.
Some other arrogant little tit shortly follows and, despite not being good enough to make it at Liverpool in the first place, he’s going to make Leo Messi look second rate, no wonder he turned down Internazionale.
Every throw is in an exocet, every set piece feeling like a penalty, every corner a nailed-on addition to the bloopers reel.
Drenched in nervous, cold sweat.
The fear is real.
That dull, suffocating, consuming weight that can’t be shaken. That seeps into every aspect of your day, it’s there, front and centre at every turn.
Even sleep is no escape, so the next day comes, tired and hungover, with a cob on.
That they can be so tantalisingly brilliant only serves to make the bleakness darker and the desolation more acute.
Nothing offers comfort, not the bookies odds of 10/1 of an opposition victory, nor their poor record and lack of any real worrying indicators, none of this counts for anything.
And this is after only one defeat in the last 15 league games.
They do this to you, the fucking Reds.
And then, just like that, the most important of the least important things is suddenly your mate again.
Huddersfield dispatched with a calm authority after a dominant, controlled performance from Jürgen Klopp’s juggernaut.
Never in doubt, didn’t you see the odds? Didn’t you study their form? They’re fucking shite and we’re fucking boss.
Tomorrow, oh tomorrow, let me count the minutes you glorious, mighty Reds.
Never in doubt.
SUBSCRIBE to TAW Player to listen to our post-match show:
“There’s now a five point gap on Spurs, there’s an eight point gap now on Arsenal… all of a sudden things are looking up again.” ✊️
🗣 Subscribe to #TAWPlayer and listen to our immediate post-match reaction show here 👉 https://t.co/xm4toYvCUY pic.twitter.com/8MhunfDF5h
— The Anfield Wrap (@TheAnfieldWrap) 30 January 2018
Pics: David Rawcliffe-Propaganda Photo
Like The Anfield Wrap on Facebook
Excellent, Andy. Nailed it.
Haven’t always enjoyed your articles as much as some others’ on this site but that was a fine one Andy. These fabulous Reds have been wrecking my head for eight days the magnificent bastards
There’s this statistic that says domestic violence goes up massively when footie teams play badly. I’m not a wife beater but I can see why it happens after a week like this!! (Joking by the way)
Not having a go at you mate, just that writing things like that in a way trivialises a very, very serious and horrific subject (even with the disclaimer). Just my own opinion but it’s why I hate it when people use sexual assault as a descriptive term, as in “we pulled their pants down and raped them today”.
Like I said, not having a pop, I think the fact that you added that you were joking, shows that you were uneasy about it. All the best, J.
Ps- I’m not really some sort of ‘moral arbiter’. I just think things like this should never be taken lightly and need to be pointed out.
Agreed with James. In the past few weeks, we’ve had Phil Neville tweeting like a bell end and, more significantly, Jon Flanagan with his day in court. Domestic violence is a living hell, not some sort of cartoon. No need to perpetuate the cartoon for a cheap laugh.
I know, I just feel like a bit of a bellend pointing it out. I feel like I need to though. I don’t believe there was any bad intent in the original comment, just ill-conceived.
Mentioning Phil Neville’s clearly jokey tweet in the same sentence as actual domestic violence. Jesus christ. This incessant desire to be judge and jury over what people should and should not say (even in their jokes or analogies) is why people despise SJWs so much, and a major reason for Trump, Brexit, le Pen etc etc etc, as people by and large like liberal policies but feel sickened by the constant virtue signalling, offended by absolutely everything, tell-you-how-to-behave “liberals,” so can’t bring themselves to vote for them.
The fact this still hasn’t been learnt after the last few years only shows that these people only care about putting on display what good people they are (“look how virtuous I am, I care about women so much I don’t even like jokes at their expense” – please forget that this infantilizes them and doesn’t treat them as equals) and don’t care about anything else over that.
Other than that, good article Andy.
So you believe making jokes about domestic violence is okay then? Also, it’s nothing to do with appearing to defend women, domestic violence as an entity is not female exclusive. Each to their own, I’d just rather be in the camp that tries to pick people up on tasteless remarks, or actions, and educate, rather than the one that belligerently defends anything. Not really sure how calling someone an “SJW” is an insult in any way. Is social justice something not to strive For somehow? From your comment you seem rather entrenched, politics should never come before morality.
Also, blaming the rise of the right wing, and ‘Brexit’ on people being annoyed by, in your view left/ centrist ideas on decency, is utterly ludicrous. Wow! Somehow, equating this with a discussion about the use of domestic violence/ rape etc in ‘light-hearted’ and ‘jokey’ analogies is distasteful and actually quite disturbing.
‘but feel sickened by the constant virtue signalling, offended by absolutely everything, tell-you-how-to-behave “liberals,” so can’t bring themselves to vote for them.’
If thats the price we pay for a fair society where everyone is treated equally and the system isn’t bent in favour of the rich and priveleged, I’d happily take that.
No hope Lippey, we’re all destined for Fascism apparently, unless we keep quiet about things that we find distasteful or disturbing (or something). :)
Managed to sum up perfectly exactly how I felt this past week. Brilliant, Andy.
This made me piss myself: ‘the bad tits’
Excellent article Andy. Always really enjoy your contributions, both in written and recorded form. I think you absolutely nailed it in regards to how bad results tend to colour every facet of our lives. The Reds of the last thirty years have been specialists at putting emotions through the wringer. Good result, top four looking healthier now. Let’s hope we can deal Spurs a mortal wound on Sunday. YNWA
A little better from you Andy, thank you.
Now you and we know what Klopp must feel like managing this team, and the off/on abuse and negativity we give him and the team over a game.
“Never in doubt. Until Sunday.”
Yeah, let’s see what happens.
When it was 2-0 with 20 mins to go, they chucked a few long hopeful balls into the big grock, the crowd got going and I was thinking here we go again. I had a quick check on the bookies odds and it was 100/1 for the draw – even that didn’t make me feel better: ‘Some lucky wanker is going to get rich off this’ I’m telling my missus. The things they put us through…