“HOW on earth was that only 4-0?”
As I exited the press box after the final whistle on Wednesday night, those were the first words I heard. And indeed, how exactly did not Liverpool better the 6-0 scorching of Everton recorded at Anfield in September 1935? It, and this is no exaggeration at all, could have easily been eight for. Listen, Roberto Martinez would have gulped down his morning coffee thankful that it wasn’t 10 against.
Dios te salve, Maria. Llena eres de gracia.
Liverpool were so authoritative, so in control that they didn’t need to be more than average to batter the Blues. After a testing, intensive fortnight, they didn’t need to exert themselves and increase the already immeasurable humiliation for the visitors.
37 shots to Everton’s three.
13 shots on target to their big fat zero.
64 touches in their box, with just three in reverse.
That Liverpool toyed with Everton, like a toddler feeding their face and surroundings with a bowl of food, was almost more of an insult than a greater scoreline. The Reds were illustrating their superiority by having a bit of fun, by teasing the visitors, by letting them know ‘we’re only at 6/10 today lads and we can do you in further here, but we don’t actually have to’.
Everton were on their knees and Liverpool were practically playing keepy-ups. Stitch that to every summary of the 226th Merseyside Derby. Look at Jürgen Klopp laughing his head off at Lucas’ shot in stoppage time and feel the absolute supremacy. Afterwards, the manager said the club have “a real battle” next up against Newcastle. Yeah, because honestly them lot from across the park were a real chuckle.
There was zero, zilch funny about Ramiro Funes Mori’s shithouse, studs-up tackle on Divock Origi though. That he clutched the club’s badge as he walked off following his red card is beyond words.
2-0 down in the derby, nastily taking out a 21-year-old going nowhere at the start of the second half leaving your team in bucket loads of trouble against their bitter rivals, and being hugely proud of it. Liverpool didn’t need to inflict further embarrassment on Everton when they were doing it themselves.
Four wins on the spin for the Reds. 14 goals scored in those games. Just one defeat in the last 15, the shootout at Wembley aside. Manchester United and Borussia Dortmund on their arse and out of Europe.
From wondering where the breakthrough was going to come from, to taking bets on who’ll end the season as top scorer with four players now in double digits. James Milner crossing like a hot bun at Easter. The stand-in skipper has directly created 11 goals in 2016 in all competitions, three more than any other Premier League player. Hello Mesut Ozil, how can he assist you?
Liverpool are learning just what they’re capable of under Klopp.
Tell yer ma, yer ma
I really enjoyed the game last night, we had so much swagger. We were “money”!
And yet Lallana’s miss when he was one-on-one still really, really bugs me. He needs to be scoring them. WE need to be scoring them!
Internet Etiquette: when saying something is money always use a ‘$’ instead of the word. It’s just hipper I think but at least pretend not to quote me on that roll of the dice.
Good article, Melissa, you are usually worth a chuckle but I laughed out loud at “Hello Mesut Ozil, how can he assist you?” Oh, and by the way, Matthew, is it hipper to write Lol than say laughed out loud? Careful, you’re in danger of taking yourself seriusly.
Sorry mate that was entirely tongue-in-cheek, missing dry tone of voice and all.
2 things: Klopp and the others on the bench were laughing not at Lucas’ shot but at Phil and Albie playing keepy-ups on the touch line just before the shot.
2nd: not to be a downer but last season we went 13 games unbeaten from around Boxing Day (10-3-0) then finished the season 2-2-5. Vanity, all is vanity. Of course that was BK, so may not be relevant.
Oh, 3rd thing: great read, did like the Ozil line. Nicely, nicely.
Thanks plenty for point 3.
On point 2 – go through that run you mention again and note that the games were quite close, with LFC not really as dominant as they’ve presently been. Also – United and BVB have been knocked out of Europe, don’t knock that.
On point 1 – Klopp most definitely laughs his head off at Lucas’ shot, which he referenced afterwards.
That Mori is Everton all over in one shitehawk piss-poor player. I can’t actually believe what a fucking loser he is and they are as well.
One of the cleanest derbies in many a year and one fool couldn’t read it. Leopards, spots and all that……..
We beat them to the point where it became joyously difficult to watch. Listening to the oles was one of the most beautifully cringing sequences I can remember watching.
Conversely, I find it really hard to stomach the fact we have now lost Origi for the season owing to the actions of the repugnant coward Mori. It is a small consolation that he will now miss what would have been the biggest game of his career. I can only hope he never gets the chance to play at Wembley again.
Nice to have a day like this but I worry about our shooting accuracy.
Moreno and Lallana should be scoring more goals and I would think against the better teams – and where we want to be – lack of goal scoring ruthlessness will count against us.
Stitch that Mesut….