Melissa Ident
“HOW on earth was that only 4-0?”

As I exited the press box after the final whistle on Wednesday night, those were the first words I heard. And indeed, how exactly did not Liverpool better the 6-0 scorching of Everton recorded at Anfield in September 1935? It, and this is no exaggeration at all, could have easily been eight for. Listen, Roberto Martinez would have gulped down his morning coffee thankful that it wasn’t 10 against.

Dios te salve, Maria. Llena eres de gracia.

Liverpool were so authoritative, so in control that they didn’t need to be more than average to batter the Blues. After a testing, intensive fortnight, they didn’t need to exert themselves and increase the already immeasurable humiliation for the visitors.

37 shots to Everton’s three.
13 shots on target to their big fat zero.
64 touches in their box, with just three in reverse.

That Liverpool toyed with Everton, like a toddler feeding their face and surroundings with a bowl of food, was almost more of an insult than a greater scoreline. The Reds were illustrating their superiority by having a bit of fun, by teasing the visitors, by letting them know ‘we’re only at 6/10 today lads and we can do you in further here, but we don’t actually have to’.

Football - FA Premier League - Liverpool FC v Everton FC
Everton were on their knees and Liverpool were practically playing keepy-ups. Stitch that to every summary of the 226th Merseyside Derby. Look at Jürgen Klopp laughing his head off at Lucas’ shot in stoppage time and feel the absolute supremacy. Afterwards, the manager said the club have “a real battle” next up against Newcastle. Yeah, because honestly them lot from across the park were a real chuckle.

There was zero, zilch funny about Ramiro Funes Mori’s shithouse, studs-up tackle on Divock Origi though. That he clutched the club’s badge as he walked off following his red card is beyond words.

2-0 down in the derby, nastily taking out a 21-year-old going nowhere at the start of the second half leaving your team in bucket loads of trouble against their bitter rivals, and being hugely proud of it. Liverpool didn’t need to inflict further embarrassment on Everton when they were doing it themselves.

Football - FA Premier League - Liverpool FC v Everton FC
Four wins on the spin for the Reds. 14 goals scored in those games. Just one defeat in the last 15, the shootout at Wembley aside. Manchester United and Borussia Dortmund on their arse and out of Europe.

From wondering where the breakthrough was going to come from, to taking bets on who’ll end the season as top scorer with four players now in double digits. James Milner crossing like a hot bun at Easter. The stand-in skipper has directly created 11 goals in 2016 in all competitions, three more than any other Premier League player. Hello Mesut Ozil, how can he assist you?

Liverpool are learning just what they’re capable of under Klopp.

Tell yer ma, yer ma