I’M in a car with five men (or I was, then my phone battery died). Gibbons is in Lisbon with his wonderful wife. Laura really is brilliant. Like if she wasn’t I’d gloss over this like a snide. Make it go as quick as I can. Instead I want to dwell and talk her up. She’s boss. Anyway he can’t find a place to watch The Reds. I’ve just watched The Reds. And doused myself in white wine.
Match ratings. All the best. If you’ve read my match review you’ll know this could get interesting quickly. Talk of people getting a twitch on. Is right. Did this heading back from The Hawthorns. Asked for majority viewpoints.
SIMON MIGNOLET 7
Heaton delighted with the late save. Paul Senior wants 6.
GLEN JOHNSON 7
Paul Senior: “If you are giving Mignolet 7 then Johnson is 7.”
Heaton fuming. You are just being childish, he says. Going right off.
MARTIN SKRTEL 7
Why? Fuck knows but battle lines have been drawn. On the other hand Elastica is belting out in the car. Should count for something. The tunes are huge.
DEJAN LOVREN 8
Getting horrific here. Tons of unpleasantness. Wish I’d never started this group think experiment. Did alright, Lovren. Had a massive 15 seconds. But an eight feels huge.
Not least when I’ve barely gave a 7 out before. And Lovren will print this out and show it to his partner and that. Give it the big one.
EMRE CAN 5
This now feels harsh. But the car is looking to make common cause on something and it appears to be Emre.
Fascinating how the manager used his fullbacks when in possession today. Save it for the Tuesday Review though, Atko.
STEVEN GERRARD 6
Appears to have use of all his legs which is good news. Did a bit better than alright today.
Important note. At this point the battery on my phone died. So while I’m now safely home with a feature film watched, I’m guessing at the scores. They told me but I’m no memory man.
JORDAN HENDERSON 5
Hit the box time and again but nowhere near his most influential.
PHILIPPE COUTINHO 6
Suspect this was a six based on things done in previous games. Looked bright. But you know.
JORDON IBE 4
He is a young player, coming back from injury, struggling to get going, not surrounded by enough quality. That isn’t to say four is mean, merely understandable.
RAHEEM STERLING 5
Very willing yet again. Very little change out of WBA’s back four though.
MARIO BALOTELLI 6
Again, very willing. A massive stint. Just a shame about this standing square to people. That said, two or three sumptuous lay offs.
There you are. Borini 4, Lallana 5.
Me possibly a hard working 7. Great effort but spilt too much on myself. A metaphor for almost everything.
Pics: David Rawcliffe-Propaganda-Photo