By Martin Fitzgerald

I’M SO BORED OF OTHER FOOTBALL TEAMS.

You wouldn’t believe how bored I am, watching them, trying to work out what they’re up to. What their game is. How what they will do will impact on us.

I’m so bored of other managers. I’m fed up trying to work out their motivations, what they’re up to, how what goes on in their head affects us.

The season is over next week. I’m not spending any more time on them, they can do what they want. All my efforts now go into Liverpool. I’m not bored of Liverpool. How could you be bored of Liverpool?

This is in our hands, we need to take control of the situation. That’s what we’ve been doing all season. We need to do the other thing we have been doing all season. Score. Score. Score. Score. There are 180 minutes left. We can score. We can always score.

The time for football as it usually is has gone, football was what we did when we needed to win games.

We don’t have time for football now. We only have time for goals. For all the goals.

Get the players together, sell them an idea. Show them they’ve scored 96 goals in the league already. Print out the table and f***ing show it to them. Sit them down, make them watch every goal.

Football - FA Premier League - Liverpool FC v Arsenal FC

Skrtel. Loving the goals.

They love goals. Make them love goals more. Drill goals into them. Sell them an idea.

And then don’t let them score in training. Take the goals away, starve them.

Send them out in that tunnel in South East London absolutely starving for their goals.

And then unleash them.

The first 10 minutes of that game needs to be the last 10 minutes of the most important game of their lives. That’s the idea.

Get an early goal. We’ve got loads of early goals all year. Brendan, show them the early goals.

And when you get that early goal you do this:

No one celebrates.

The team, the whole team runs into the back of their net and picks up the ball. They’re starving, they need more. They take the ball back to the centre circle and place it on the spot.

No one in the team takes up their positions. The whole team stands on the halfway line waiting for their kick off.

The halfway line is the deepest we get. Then go again. Score again. Do it all again. Stare them down again. Take them into places football never has to go.

And this is what we do for 180 minutes. Take them into places football never has to go.

No one’s ever done this. No one’s ever needed to. No one’s ever had to relentlessly score goals for three hours.

Suarez, Sturridge, Sterling, Gerrard, Coutinho, Allen, Johnson, Sakho, Skrtel and Flanagan.

Goals, Goals, Goals, Goals, Goals, Goals, Goals, Goals, Goals, Goals.

No one’s ever done this. No one’s ever needed to. No one’s ever been able to. We are.

Fantasy? Deluded?

It’s just a matter of how I choose to spend my time.

If you want to spend yours wondering what Fabian Delph or Stewart Downing are capable of then I guarantee you’re in a worse place than me.

Sell them an idea.

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