I’M not sure when this started but as the weeks have rolled on I’m relying less on tricky language, pleasing similes and passionate ravings. No. I’ve dropped from the polysyllabic to the monosyllabic to mere grunting in different keys. Iv-a-pool.

Football - FA Premier League - Liverpool FC v Manchester City FC

West Ham was bewildering, mad, chaotic and held a revolting sick-to-the-stomach queasiness but yesterday had me shaking, physically shaking. An hour after the whistle I was still all over the place. I’m not all there now, to be honest. Like Red in the Shawshank Redemption I can’t hold two thoughts in my head at the same time. I’ve found myself wandering off and mouthing nothings when I think no one else is looking. You’re all the same too. Great, isn’t it?

Now I’m left with just questions. These ones.

1) Where does that out-of-context roar come from? Yesterday’s wasn’t an answer to something on the pitch. It was more akin to the lad in Istanbul who looks like he’s about to cry and thinks the only thing he can do is take his shirt off and fling it around his head. Like it was just necessary. From nowhere to ‘this will have to do till I’ve settled down’.

2) How good were the City fans? Great to see that. Proper support who know that such things are more important than rivalries.

3) Does the minute’s silence get longer every year? I’m lucky. My mates came back from Hillsborough with just broken bones but to be confronted with that minute and think about a world where it went the other way was horrifying. Then there’s the people who live that alternative life. Too grim to even contemplate.

4) What’s with this wrestling style intro for the team? Who is Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuis Suarezzzzzzzzzzz?

5) How obvious was that start? We were always going to try to Raheem them early and City are a great side and we STILL did it?

6) How is Martin Skrtel both my favourite defender and striker this season? Neil makes a point of teams being good in both boxes rather than in midfield. That’s Skrtel. Man of the match.

7) How can the Kemlyn run out of cheese slices an hour before kick off?

8) What was Suarez doing with the handball thing?

9) Is Jordan Henderson always furious?

Football - FA Premier League - Liverpool FC v Manchester City FC

10) If James Brown is the hardest working man in soul what does that make the Liverpool middle three? How many tackles was that?

11) Any chance of David Silva on a free?

12) How can people be negative about Milner? He’s exactly what they need as do most other clubs.

13) How did Johnson let that ball go out of play? He had ten minutes. I wasn’t even angry. Just perplexed.

14) Has everyone got their tickets for The Anfield Wrap night after Newcastle? (Always on message)

15) Did Sturridge’s absence make a difference? He’s not right at the moment. I think he’s saving it for the last four and his final ten goals this season. You think that’s far fetched. Look at this season.

16) How does Coutinho hit that ball with that much pace and direction from behind him when he drags a dolly of a pass nine times out of ten?

17) Victor Moses?

18) Five minutes of injury time . I was hoping he’d blow at 85 minutes. Time off for good behaviour.

19) Seriously? Victor Moses?

20) Can you love a Gerrard any more than this day? I’ve seen fans laughing at him for crying. I’ve seen fans laughing at him for his Henry V speech? Fuck them. You don’t get it. It’s the month he’s waited his life for and he’s straining every tissue to get there. He could have done that in the dressing room or a cold environment but he wanted them, that young side, to have that second’s blood in their veins and with that crowd making that noise in their ears as he shouted over it. It was his little preamble before Brendan got to them and brought them down to earth. It was romantic and inspiring. Some people criticise us for that but that’s why supporting Liverpool is such an infuriatingly beautiful thing to do. Steven Gerrard is eight years old again. He wants it and he wants it bad. What’s more, he knows he can get it now.

21) Brendan Rodgers? I didn’t think you were that man. I really didn’t.

Four to go.

Sleep well, Norfolk.

Football - FA Premier League - Liverpool FC v Manchester City FC

Pics: David Rawcliffe / Propaganda

Consent management powered by Real Cookie Banner