By Ben McCausland
Despite hurtling towards my thirties at a rate of knots, I am still a relative baby in terms of Liverpool aways, having been a regular away traveller for about 12 years now.
However, my tale of woe will resonate with many reds from throughout the years – from the away pioneers who headed to Reykjavik in 1964, to the half a million who went to Wolves in ‘76 (Come on you arl arses, come clean – you didn’t ALL go) to the Lacoste liberators of the early ‘80’s, anyone who has had any regular dealings with our ticket office will feel my pain.
When I first started going to Anfield, our souvenir shop was a hut in the main stand car-park and the ticket office was an 0151 number. With Peter Robinson quietly pulling the strings and David Moores shuffling about somewhere, we were a footballing behemoth being run like a village Post Office.
We felt so smug as we watched Manchester United invent the ‘theatre of dreams’ and open souvenir shops everywhere from Devon to Doha. Such crassness simply wasn’t our thing, not ‘the Liverpool way’, nope – we were your homely, comfortable, quiet club. We didn’t need to sell our soul in such ways.
But football was changing. It is an accepted fact now that commercially our rivals left us for dead.
Whether we simply rested on our laurels and thought the fact that ‘WE ARE LIVERPOOL’ was enough to keep the worldwide fan-base interested and the coffers swelling, or whether it was, to put it brutally, a lack of intelligence and foresight from the men in charge at the time is a debate for another time, but what cannot be denied is that the new owners of our club are far more commercially savvy than any we have known before.
Warrior doubling what Adidas are paying us to make our kits, Standard Chartered blowing Carlsberg out of the water for our shirt sponsorship and the enhanced corporate packages on offer at Anfield all point to a club that is finally beginning to realise its self-worth in the global football market.
So why then, is our ticket office still head scratchingly, phone smashingly, teeth grittingly painful to deal with on a weekly basis?
In the late 1990’s tickets for away games were distributed on the arbitrary system of a number picked out of a fucking hat, presumably by Jean-Michel Ferri (well what else was he doing?). If the last number of the serial number on your season ticket ended in that number, spiffing. If it didn’t, then tough titty.
It mattered not a jot if you had been to Wimbledon away on a Wednesday night, or if you hadn’t missed an away for 40 years – if United away or the Goodison Derby was announced as a 7 and your season ticket ended in a 4 you were screwed.
Loyalty was not rewarded, attendance was not logged, in short, it was a two-bit system that matched our two-bit approach to matters off the pitch.
My friends and I each had a network of contacts written down for these matters. These lists would look something like this:
- Me – a 4
- Uncle Pete – two 7’s
- Fella three doors down – a 6 (uses it for the big games, glory hunting twat)
- Woman’s who works with Mum neighbour’s tennis partners plumber – knows someone who can get an 8 and a 9
When selling details were announced, invariably the night before, there was always a mad rush to find a voucher that matched. All night was spent chasing round harassing people, who often didn’t know us from Adam, to get enough vouchers so that we could all get to the match.
The introduction of the fancard system was undoubtedly a much fairer system in that loyalty was finally being rewarded. It looked that at long last our club was dragging itself into the 21st Century, bloody hell, we’ve even been able to buy tickets on the internet for a while now. If David Moores knew what the internet was, I am sure even he would be impressed at how far we have come.
Due to the fancard system prioritising those who have accrued credits by attending aways, I have missed entirely the anger and heartbreak that many who have grievances with our ticket office hold regarding cup final ticket allocations. 2001, 05, 06 and 07 were all a breeze for me.
Selfishly, I didn’t give much time to the protests against Parry for the Athens tickets fiasco – I was alright, Jack. However, my grudge against our ticket office does have its origins from one of those finals – in Istanbul, when all the ticket office were on a jolly.
As the mad dash for taxis from Taksim Square began, me and my mate dived on one of the coaches laid on by the club and I instantly recognised a few of the faces from the ticket office. We saw an empty pair of seats and sat down hoping to cadge a lift with them.
The reaction we got from the people around us was incredible – you would have thought we’d just bounced on and turfed Rafa and his grandmother out of their seats, not just quietly slipped into two empty ones.
“THESE ARENT WITH US”, “GET THESE OFF OUR BUS’
“Arr come one Love, we only want a lift the ground, don’t be sly”
“THIS IS OUR BUS, GERROFF”
Fucks sake! I had been to Graz, Leverkusen, Juventus, Chelsea and now Istanbul in the last 8 months or so and the fact that these lot were on a freebie made me shout something about me “paying your fucking wages” as we were herded off the bus to a load of ironic cheers. It may only seem a minor thing, but it really stuck in my craw. What harm were we doing there? Couldn’t they have just let us use the spare seats and get a free lift up the ground? Apparently not, and a grudge was borne.
My latest spat with our beloved distributor of tickets arose from our recent victory in the League Cup at Chelsea. I purchased my ticket online (the world we live in!) – easy enough – except it did not arrive. The day before the game an email arrived telling me that they had not processed my ticket and that I had to ring THEM to sort out a duplicate. Right, ok.
“Welcome to Liverpool Football Club, you are being charged for this call”
Yes, I fucking know I am.
After a fortnight on hold listening to a tin-pot instrumental of “Fields of Anfield Road” my call is answered and me and the person at the other end do a familiar dance.
T.O – Whats your fancard number?
Me – 1234567
T.O – And the name on the card?
Me – Peter Gibbons
T.O – And whats your date of birth Mr Gibbons?
Me – 17th Jan 1953
T.O – (long pause) This isn’t your card is it?
Me – Yes, no, well, yeah, what it is is my Uncle Pete has 3 season tickets in his name, but this is mine…
T.O – Im sorry, you’ll have to get Mr Gibbons to call us, I cant continue this conversation with you.
Me – Well you sold him three season tickets, do you think he sits in all three? (now my Uncle Pete is a somewhat rotund gentleman, but I don’t think that even the ticket office believe that he can spread himself across two seats in the Kemlyn and one on Row 60 in The Kop)
T.O – Im sorry but…
Me – No, im sorry – you don’t care whose name is on them when you are collecting the £750 each year, regardless of whose name is on that card it is MY season ticket and YOU have messed up MY Chelsea league cup ticket so you need to deal with ME.
To cut a long story short (and to keep my blood pressure down), the ticket office agreed to speak to me about it and agreed to arrange for a duplicate to be sent down to Chelsea in the name of Ben McCausland and as long as I took identification there would be no problems.
Down at Chelsea I realised that all ticket office staff are the same.
Me: Hello, I have got a duplicate ticket to pick up, name of Ben McCausland.
T.O – (idly thumbs through envelopes) Nope, nothing here.
Me – Well then there must be some mistake, the good man at Liverpool Football Club told, nay, assured me, that he would send it to your fine self.
T.O – S’not ‘ere.
Me – Could you please check again? I think maybe you have missed it, as I said, Liverpool promised me and they are a world famous household name and always do things professionally and diligently.
T.O – Nope, nothing by that name. Might be in a different name?
Me – *sigh* Yes… It could be in the name of Peter Gibbons…
T.O – Yep, its here.
Me – Splendid! Now if you could just slide that ticket through I’ll be on my way…
T.O – Cant, not in your name.
FUCK OFF!!!
As if wasting time and money on a trip down to Chelsea to not get my ticket as promised was not bad enough, when I rang the club to discuss the situation the response (or lack of) was shocking.
If any other company treated its customers in the way that football clubs treat theirs then they would be hauled over the coals by Anne Robinson on Watchdog or be out of business fairly sharply. It has taken me 7 weeks of telephone calls to finally get Liverpool to agree to refund me my ticket and coach money.
“Welcome to Liverpool Football Club, you are being charged for this call”
7 weeks of me ringing them, fruitlessly leaving messages and complaints with another disinterested person who would fob me off with the promise that someone will ring me back to discuss this matter.
7 weeks of me doing the “yes it is my fancard, its just not in my name” dance.
7 weeks of premium rate phone bills.
Football fans are mugs, everybody knows it, and the clubs know that they do not need to offer any customer service because what are we going to do if Iwe don’t like the service they offer us? Go and support Everton?!
They have us over a barrel because we are not consumers of a product looking to shop around for the best deal, we are consumed by our club. If ticket prices eventually get too much for one person, then there are 15 other mugs waiting to take their ticket, the club know this and it is massively apparent in how they treat us.
Im not expecting a back rub in every dealing I have with the ticket office.
Just stop treating us like dickheads.
I’m not sure what you expected – the card isn’t in your name. Not wanting to sound like a twat, but just go down to the ticket office in the day with your Uncle Pete and get one of the fancard’s transferred in your name. Will save future hassle.
Nothing ever changes. When we went to Dortmund they gave us an extra ticket. At Manchester Airport.
Don’t know if your uncle would oblige, but for a tenner, you can have one of his season tickets transferred to you. They only do it in the summer, though.
Fuck off McCausland you whinging bastard!
Good article. I think I may have read about your problem with the Chelsea ticket on RAWK.
Richard – I’ve tried to do that but for some reason the club refuse to do it mid season.
Its great that we now sell online, but why can’t you buy concessions? I know there might be one or two (ahem) who hope a shave on matchday will literally shave 5 or 10 years off their appearance and get in cheaper, but do they really think these lads are going to buckle under the phonelines vigorous ‘How old are the kids?’ questioning?
I feel your pain on this example and what with the pissing about between LFC and CFC, but we need to respect the security reasons behind all of this.
Sadly, the half wits that you tend to deal with in ticket offices don’t help matters…
I always used to like the ticket office until this season. As someone who is not fortunate enough to be able to afford to buy season tickets having 3 supporters in the house with the general rule, if one goes we all go and living 130 miles away, we try to get to as many games a season as the finances allow (which is never as many as we’d like to go!)
I used to have a fancard until I moved house, I never thought to notify the club until I tried to buy tickets. All of a sudden they had no record of me, although previously they always found me on the system okay. I couldn’t understand it as my fancard number hadn’t changed, my date of birth hadn’t changed, even my email address was still the same but as a result of moving house, all records of previous games we’ve attended has just disappeared. I’ve spoken to countless customer service advisors and supervisors who have come up with the conclusion that when they’ve tried to update my address details they’ve somehow wiped me from their system. I’ve had several apologies but it doesn’t help me trying to get tickets now.
This season I haven’t been able tickets once and it really grinds my gears that through one person making a mistake all our previous games count for nothing other than making it an absolute nightmare trying to get tickets now.
As you say they have you over a barrell. People don’t get their ashes scattered down the aisles of Sainsburys. We can’t shop around
Here´s another story from someone who is supporting Liverpool since nearly ten years from Austria-
Just before this season I got a mail remembering me to renew my credit card details for the annual payment of the membership.
Unfortunately, I´ve forgotten my password, and as “press the button if you have forgotten your password so you´ll receive an e-mail for further help” did not work ( I never received that mails ) I contacted the club, via internet/mail system-4 times
result:apart from one automatic mail after my first try-nothing.
I also tried to phone – couldn´t get through.
Though I left membership card number, old/new mail adress, old/new last name, phonenumber – I never received an answer (i checked the spam filter,yes, more then once).
Funnily enough I learned from my friends who have a valid MC, that in the “friends list” my last name has turned into a double-name…so they must somehow received my mails,right?
Why didn´t they realise after my 3rd complaint that maybe something on the way of communication does NOT work?
Fact is, this season I´m without a MC meaning I could not apply for tix on the internet
Don´t want to blame them all, I´m sure there are enough people at the TO/Membership Customer (!) Service who are doing a good job!
But that part of LFC looks rather poor to me, esp. as it´s not only me having that kind of problems…
But I won´t give up-this week I´ll send a letter to them-using the good old post! ;-P
ynwa, not even in this matter!
Having had to deal with our TO for the best part of 30 years, all that I can say, is that nothings really changed.
Yes’ we’ve come past the archaic paper books, and the lottery of what number your voucher ends in, but we havent – for all of the technological advances – really moved forward.
I have to say that the average TO employee does a great job, by and large, but even they are only grunts who have to work within the system that they are told to(no offence TO staff), but the systematic failings seem to come from the top.
Whoever manages the TO outright and the junior managers just below seem to not give a flying f*ck how the ticket office opperates, or who gets the tickets.
Just as long as customer ‘A’ or customer ‘B’ is paying up front and in advance for any given game, they’re not interested by the daily woe of your average ‘FAN’, getting their ticket or not.
Things might move faster, with the technology now employed, but I find that a lot of the problems we have these days are the same old problems we’ve had since the 80s (and probably before).
And that can only come from the lack of leadership within the TO or the ststems employed.
Same shit, different decade, and as long as they have a captive market where they know full well that the tickets will sell, nothing is ever going to change.
They just don’t care enough to have to deal with it, or change it.